I’ve never

I’ve Never

I’ve never pushed the pram of motherhood any further than my womb

The battle wounds

The scares

The war marks

The stretch marks

The physicality of the fight

I’ve never reached for the stars to find myself flying among the moon

Little feet, baby feet,

Blue

The journey

The exploration

No, there not enough

Unsensational is ordinary

Locked out of their fraternity

No, it wasn’t enough

No diapers at the ready, little airplanes soaring high

I’ve never told a bedtime story, searched for monsters in the closet

Only battle the monsters inside my head

I remember the month, the day, the feeling

I remember my body holds the score

I’ve never pumped an ounce of breast milk

Lactation, swollen, ice cold for relief

 I’ve contemplated life beyond the living cause most everyone I’ve loved is dead,

Blood, cut, stitched from the inside out

A mother

A daughter

A friend